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For: chippers87

Written for: chippers87
Written by: travlncarrie
Notes:For my Secret Santa. Hope you enjoy it :)

The Conference

“You will do it.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Do it or you’re fired.”

“You wouldn’t dream of firing your precious head of diagnostics. I’m too valuable.”

Cuddy glared at House, unwavering in her stance. He eyed her right back, also unwilling to budge.

“Two weeks off clinic duty,” he said.

“None. You will attend the conference and give your speech, or else you’re fired.”

“What do I get in return?”

“Well, since you blew up the imaging room, there’s no room in the budget for two hotel rooms. You’re stuck sharing a room with me.”

I didn’t blow up the imaging room, your impatient SWAT team did,” he said, taking a step closer to Cuddy. “So, does this room have a king-sized bed?”

Cuddy arched her brow and placed a hand on his chest, stopping him from advancing any further. “Oh no. It’s a two-room suite. I get one bed and if you don’t behave, you get the couch instead of the second bed.”

“And you call this bribery?”

Cuddy turned away from House and headed towards her desk. “The hospital’s pockets will benefit greatly by your little speech. Give this speech, or you’re fired. The board mandated this speech, not me.”

“No, I refuse. Go on then, fire me.” House walked over to her desk and stood opposite her, placing his hands on the desk, leaning in so they were nose to nose. “I dare you.”

“You’re fired,” she said, meaning every word.

“Right,” House said flippantly as he turned towards the door. “See you in the morning, Cuddy.”

“House,” she said, biting her lip, “don’t bother coming to work tomorrow. Have your things packed by Friday. This isn’t a joke.”


The following morning, House strolled into the hospital, as usual, and made his way to Diagnostics. Upon reaching the door to his office, he found his name had been removed from the door. He cocked his head to the side and said, “Huh.”

Opening the door to Wilson’s office, he walked in briskly, shut the door and sat down, wordlessly.

Though Wilson’s chin remained tucked to his chest as he reviewed the files on his desk, he lifted his eyes just enough to see House. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“If you think the answer is giving the speech, forget it.”

“You can’t just sit in my office the rest of your life.”

“Why not? You already buy me lunch, I was fired which means I can go on welfare. My place is paid for, so are the car and the bike. What more do I need?”

“Something to keep your mind from rotting? I don’t know, something to keep you out of my hair? I hear there’s an opening at Hopkins.”

House glared at Wilson. “She’ll cave. Give it a day or two.”

Wilson took his reading glasses off and leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “I was there. The board authorized this. It’s done. All you had to do was give was a simple speech, House.”

House frowned, picked up his cane and walked towards the door. “Bye, Wilson.”


Cuddy watched momentarily from the hall as House placed various items into a large packing box, occasionally shouting orders at Kutner or Taub as they assisted him. Steadying her nerves, Cuddy entered the conference room.

“If someone’s dying, find someone who cares, “ House grumbled, not stopping to look up at her.

“House, we need to talk.”

“Nothing to talk about. You’re not my boss; I owe this hospital nothing. I’ll be packed and out of here by the end of the day.”

Cuddy approached him and placed her hand on his arm. “Don’t do this. Give the speech and you can have your job back.”

House sighed loudly as he shrugged off her hand. “This is a good thing you’ve done for me, Cuddy,” House said sarcastically. “Opens up my schedule for porn, time for my soaps and no more worries about any corrupt officers questioning the validity of my prescriptions, now that I don’t work at a hospital anymore.”

Cuddy looked him in the eye, picked up his hand and placed a folded piece of paper into his palm. “Think about it. This is where I’m staying during the conference.” She nodded, turned on her heel and left him to finish packing.


That evening, Cuddy watched as House’s former fellows carried the last of the boxes out to House’s car. Once his car was out of sight, she made her way to Wilson’s office.

Cuddy found Wilson on his balcony. “Looks like he bought it,” he said.

“May be a little too well.”

“Trust me, I know House. He’ll sit and stew about it for a few days and on Monday, he’ll show up at your hotel.”

“I hope you’re right,” Cuddy said. “I can’t lie to him for long, he’ll know.”

“But he never knows when I’m lying to him,” Wilson said with a sly smile.


She hadn’t heard a word from him since she’d given him the note. Glancing at the clock for what seemed like the millionth time, Cuddy decided that at ten past mid-night, House wasn’t going to show up at her hotel room as Wilson had promised.

Disappointed, but somehow not at all surprised, Cuddy double-checked the latch and bolt on the door, and gave a cursory check through the peep hole. She sighed and briefly rested her forehead on the door before she opened it.

Opposite her door, sitting on the floor with one knee up and the other leg straight out in front of him, sat House. Matching his frown, Cuddy placed one hand on her hip and waited for him to say something.

“What time does it start?” he asked.

“How long have you been sitting there?” Cuddy watched him shake his head. “Why don’t you come inside?”

With a frown, House picked up his cane and duffle bag and followed her into the room. Once inside, he placed his things down and headed for the mini-refrigerator, instantly pulling out several small alcohol bottles. He turned around, with a lopsided grin on his face, and raised them up in a mock toast.

“That’s it? You’re just going to start drinking without saying anything?”

“What’s to say?”

“Are you giving the speech?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Do you even want your job back?”

“Again, I’m here, aren’t I?”

Cuddy sighed and headed towards the bedroom. “The couch pulls out into a bed. See you in the morning.”

House stood rooted to the spot as he watched Cuddy shut the bedroom door behind her. He didn’t move until he heard the sound of the bath running. He downed the first of the three bottles he’d grabbed and set the other two on the counter. Grabbing his cane, he made his way to the bathroom.

He pounded loudly on the door, ensuring that not only Cuddy heard him, but the neighbors as well. Cuddy opened the door swiftly, hoping to quiet the obnoxious knocking.

“Damn,” House said as he looked her up and down.

“What do you want House?”

“I was hoping you would have already stripped down.”

“You’re not getting a show, House. This door will be locked tight before I get into the bath”

“So, about this conference.”

Now you want to talk about this? Can’t it wait until I’m finished? The water’s getting cold.”

“Nope, can’t wait.”

Looking guilty, Cuddy cast her eyes downward. “I have a confession to make.”

“Does this mean you’re going to call me Father?”

“House,” she sighed. She waited momentarily to be sure he wouldn’t interrupt again before she continued. “There’s no conference.”

House pursed his lips, arched his brow and took a step closer to Cuddy, effectively invading her space. “So, you’ve known about this all along?”

Feeling slightly uncomfortable at being in such close proximity to him, Cuddy took a step backwards into the bathroom. “Pretty much.”

He took another step forward, again crowding Cuddy’s personal space. “So, there’s no speech.”

Looking up at him, she shook her head as she took another step backwards. “No.”

House advanced forward. “And that means I emptied my office for no reason.”

Again, Cuddy took another step backwards. “I guess it does.”

House set his jaw as he took another step. “This reeks of Wilson.”

Unable to step back any further because of the tub, Cuddy’s breath caught in her throat. “No, it was all me.”

“You’re lying,” he said.

House took one last step towards her, the buttons on his shirt just touching those on hers. Cuddy was not anticipating him encroaching so far into her space, and as a result, she tried to take a step backwards. The fatal move caused her to knees to buckle on the edge of the tub and on her way down, she frantically reached for House. During her brief flail, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt-front, pulling him down with her.

Trying to brace himself for the fall, and in an effort to avoid hitting his leg on the edge of the tub, House pitched towards the left, falling beside Cuddy into the tub. Most of the water sloshed out, but not before the pair were thoroughly soaked. House smiled knowingly and nodded his head.

Cuddy angled her head to the side as realization dawned on her. “You knew.”

House pulled himself from the tub and extended his hand towards her.

“You knew this whole time.”

House shrugged. “You bite your bottom lip when you lie. I almost bought it with Wilson’s moving speech about the board meeting, but I checked the conference roster and found we weren’t signed up.”

Cuddy looked at him somewhat confused. “But you’re here.”

He looked away briefly. “I am,” he said as he again met her gaze, pulling her from the tub. “And you knew I’d follow you into the bathroom, which is why you’re wearing a white shirt.”

Cuddy blushed slightly and mimicked his shrug. “We should talk.”

“Talking’s overrated.”

She placed her fingers to his lips and shook her head, but before she could say anything, House pulled her hands away from his mouth and planted a firm, unrelenting kiss upon her lips. “Kiss now, talk later,” he said.




( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 2nd, 2009 04:16 am (UTC)
I LOVE it. Better than what I asked for. Although, it doesn't help that I've been watching Bones all day, so I've got Brennan's and Booth's voices in my head (actually, that scenario fits them as well... oh well. Different fandom :D). Love it, love you, awesome job!!
Jan. 11th, 2009 05:06 pm (UTC)
Loved it.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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